Mental Check List to Find Out If He Is Interested In You

When a man KNOWS that he has found 'the one' he will move heaven and earth to be with you. If he is not moving his kingdom, his heaven and earth, if he does not show his love for you with action, then it's safe to assume that you're just one of many. Ponder that one...
Women are quick to want to tell men everything about them, never giving the man enough room and time to find things out about them at their own timing. Breathe, take a rest, give it some time. If he's interested he will make use of his mouth piece, open it and actually ask you (what a concept).

Here is a list of my top 10s to find out whether or not he's truly interested in you.

1. He Makes Himself Available
A man who is interested in you makes time for you. Whether it's by phone or in person. He never tells you not to call him during the day time but is flattered when you do (ladies, no stalking or harassing please). A man who is truly interested in you will call, e-mail or text you often just to let you know that he's thinking about you.

2. He Treats You Like You're the Prize
He never makes you feel like he's God's gift to all women and you are here to serve him - on the contrary, he treats you like the Queen you are because he understands that only then will you treat him like the King is.

3. He Pursues You and Initiates
Being a super strong woman myself I am guilty of leadership and I have had many regrets in this department. Being a strong woman who wants to lead her man will get you some passive aggressive mama's boy who never really grew up nor does he want to man up; he wants to be taken care of. 'Surrender, yield and BE' are my mantras because in that lies my power. Only when I am all woman can I attract a powerful leader of a man. He must pursue you and initiate with you. A man who has seen 'the one' he wants to be with will do that automatically. If he doesn't, perhaps he's not your guy.

4. He Finds Out Everything He can About You
If you have a blog or a Facebook account or a Twitter account he will find you and read about you because he's interested in you (not because he's a pervert bordering stalker syndrome). Allow him to find you, don't tell him that you're all over the net. Remember, let him initiate. If he's interested he'll look for you. If not, he won't. It's that simple.

5. He Shows His Interest with Actions
Nothing erks me more than a person who says one thing and does another. Let your 'yes' be yes and your 'no' be no. Words are sweet and fleeting and forgotten easily, actions are here to stay. He must show his love and interest in you by his actions or he's simply not interested.

6. He Asks you Questions
This is probably one of the most important points. Even if he does find out about you on the net or anywhere else, he still needs to ask you questions. Simple questions as well as big questions - QUESTIONS show that he's interested in your opinion. How can he possibly please you if he doesn't ask you any questions?

7. He Gives You Gifts
Now hold it there everyone. Many women want materialistic gifts and that is appropriate but those are not the gifts I'm talking about. A gift comes in many ways. For example, I want my man to BE my gift in and of himself. HE is my gift. HE is my blessing. The way he treats me every day and lifts me up is his gift to me.

When he initiates he gives me a gift. When he takes leadership he gives me a gift. He helps me out on the computer or with a business need, THAT is a gift. He wants to do something for me but he can't right now but expresses that he does and then gets busy looking for ways to make it come true, THAT is a gift too. Gifts come in many shapes and sizes. And just because he doesn't give you a materialistic gift, don't overlook all the many other gifts he gives. Men give gifts all day long but they go unnoticed. And when the relationship comes to an end a man's biggest complaint is: "Nothing I ever did for her was good enough."

8. He Tries to Find Ways to Please You
A man who is truly interested in you will go out of his way to find ways to please you. Remember, if he asks you questions and finds out who you are and what your likes and dislikes are, he will show his interest by the many ways he can please you. It's amazingly endearing.

9. He Moves Heaven and Earth - or Across the Country - To Be With You
In my personal opinion (and I may be the only woman on the planet to think this way), a man who is utterly in love with a woman and shows it, expresses it and goes after it relentlessly is the most beautiful thing on the planet. There is nothing more beautiful than a man who is truly in love (yes, women too, but women fall in love easier and more often than men). If a man truly loves you he will bend over backwards and move heaven and earth to find a way to please you. Count on it. So if he doesn't, perhaps he's not your guy. If you live in another country he will move to you or closer to you and meet you half way. Whatever it takes just to be with you.

10. He Announces You to the World and Shows You Off
A man who is truly interested in you and loves you can't help but bubble over and tell his friends and family about you. He will tell strangers about you, post his status on Facebook (in due time) and let the world know that he is with you and no one else. He is proud to be with you, because you ARE the PRIZE.

Here are the points again:
1. Does he make himself available to you?
2. Does he treat you like you're the prize?
3. Does he pursue you and initiate with you?
4. Does he find out everything there is to know about you?
5. Does he show his interest with actions?
6. Does he ask you questions?
7. Does he give you gifts?
8. Does he find ways to please you?
9. Does he move heaven and earth - or across country - to be with you?
10. Has he announced you to the world and does he show you off?

So my question to you is: Do you feel like you are indeed the prize?

Love your response! Couldn't agree more with you! And it fits perfectly. And yes, I want to open Pandora's box now.

I remember writing this post because a client was writing to me about how she was being treated by a man that seemed to keep her 'handy' as plan B. It was so evident from listening to her that she wasn't his 'one.' But like so many women she kept hanging in there with hope because he would give her just enough crumbs to keep her lingering around, hoping and waiting for him to change his mind. Her self esteem and confidence as a woman was pretty low and I was tired hearing about how little self respect she had for herself. She couldn't possibly blame him, we never can.

I also agree that many women are gold diggers even if they're only digging for the pennies and dollars for a free dinner. I can't stand it when women do this to men and personally have often been saddened, ashamed almost, when I hear the stories of how women take advantage of men financially. What gets me is the self entitlement that somehow leaves women to expect that he pays all the time when in reality she has no intentions of ever giving him a chance at the next step. Yes, men still do earn more in most parts of the world than a woman does for the same job.

I think we live in interesting times where both men and women are redefining their roles in society. What is important for men to understand, however, is that strong women of today no longer need a man for financial reasons like in the olden days when a woman had no education and chance of being on her own. Traditional roles reigned back then (and still do in many countries).

Today's need for men (with most women) is for him to meet her emotional needs. Everything else she can do on her own or she can hire someone to get the job done. It's when a man can find the niche of her emotional needs and find that niche that he becomes irreplaceable to her. And sadly, those parts in her heart have nothing to do with money. I'm ruling out the professionals who role is to be a gold digger and marry and divorce for money.

That's why when men bend over backwards to go to work 16 hour days to make a fortune, all in the name to supposedly make her happy and fulfill her every wish, he finds himself get cheated on in no time. Because no woman who is honest wants that from her man. On the contrary. A woman who is truly interested in her man wants to spend as much time with him as possible, not see him gone all the time. What she wants is a man to live his passion, his purpose and for him to let nothing stand in the way of that, not even her (especially not her). Now that is a self confident woman. Because she understands that when a man is that passionate about his reason for living he can transfer that passion to her and she can rest in his security. Because just like he will not let anything get in between his passion and him, he will not let anything get in between him and his woman. THAT is the emotional security that money can't buy.

A woman who wants things, materialistic things, can 1. go after it herself or 2. is giving you the signal that your relationship will eventually end. A truly happy woman is happy because she knows how to make herself happy and because she lives with a man who knows how to do the same for himself. Everything else is just a bonus.

How do men feel if a woman insists on paying her share because she knows and indirectly wants to communicate that this won't go any further?

Wouldn't it hurt his ego when it was him who invited her in the first place?

And if then she confesses during dinner that she'd rather be friends, will she ever hear from him again and go out with him as friends?

OMG, French Club in Pakistan? Sounds delightfully exciting! Have you met a blonde yet and added her to your cyber harem??

Oh look what I found! I just had to post this mathematical calculation about the cost of a woman. It's genius.

Two ladies, huh? So you're into that kind o' fun. Oh dear. Didn't you know they taught me in the convent never to share? Mary and I will have to strike a deal...

Mary and I really ought to find you a real live kitty so you can have your jello-ed whip creamed wrestling match with her. I'm more into the real mud wrestling type stuff, prefer the cross country motocross bike over the Mercedes, and camping by horse over the five star hotel, if you know what I mean.

You make me laugh so hard! If I was in public they would come and check on me...

But just so you know, part of where your money has gone in the past is towards mud baths. Yes, women actually pay to lay in warm mud without knowing how many other women have previously laid in that same mud! Sounds to me like the perfect breeding ground for a new type of STD. I'll take your African mud in any crevace any time before some lukewarm mud swarming with other women's kudos. That's just gross. Yuck!

Oh dear, I think we're scaring everyone off! Maybe everyone is still trying to figure out the whole story behind mud, jello, horses and mules and what in the world is he talking about African bushes!? lol

Oh I think we'll keep it a tug-o-RWD but my brain is not as naughty as yours - I just don't know where else to place jello except as the main food group when you're in the hospital. Doesn't make for much fun, those male nurses haven't wanted to play along in the past...

Oh you two made a light bulb go off in my head. I had been thinking of what to call this community. I went from Love Community to Love Forum, but all these domains were taken! So now we officially call it the Love Convent!

I actually went to AskOxford and looked up the word 'convent' and it originated from 'conventus' meaning 'assembly or company.' Conventus comes from 'convenire' - 'con' meaning 'with' and 'venire' meaning 'together.'

Hence, our newly formed Love Convent really is a place where together we are assembling with each other.

How fabulous is that!? Now we call this the Love Convent!

Oh, and yes, you can actually go to www.loveconvent.com and you'll end up back here again.

So sister MaryMeg, you are hereby crowned Head Sister of our Love Convent (and I see your picture is already appropriately reflecting your angelic duties) and RWD, you are hereby crowned Brother Bob (can you upload a picture when you dressed up as a pastor for Halloween one year)?

Sister MaryMeg and I crown you our knight in shining armor, Brother Bob. Welcome to the Love Convent! lol

We have gone so off topic, it's not even funny!

lol - no, Brother Bob, you've been in the African bushes too long and now you're escaping to Pakistan where there are no Love Convents serving you any honey, wafers and grape juice. But that's okay - plenty of honey and sweetness here!

So back to the topic at hand - I have a question for you. Since I'm such a straight shooter I will 99% of the time decide during dinner that I want to be 'just friends' and I really mean it (or I wouldn't even go to have a meal with that person). So why is it that men don't take a woman up on that offer? And if he should take her up on that offer what I find is that the only reason they do is because they have hope that she'll eventually change her mind.

Why is this? Why is it that when a woman makes up her mind he does everything he can to change her?

I thought that was a female tendency to want to change men...(oh I'm so gonna get a beating for this comment). So enlighten us, Knight Brother Bob, with your wisdom from the many travels between bushes, convents and such.

OMGosh, you have just taken me and all the other ladies through the fastrack of the male and female species from Adam's inception to today! I'm stunned, I'm floored and most of all, I'm confused.

Why do all this to yourself (trying to figure it out all the time) and not just go with what your gut 'knows' that it knows?

Guys are so much more intuitive than women (yes, ladies, they're just not as vocal about it). When a guy knows that he knows that she's the one, there is no freight train stopping any 'brother Bob.' Are you gettin' me?

I thought women's brains were a ball of curled up wires but I was wrong - it's the men!

Ladies, we have solved the puzzle, the "men manual" has been found, it's the men who have been the complex creatures all this time.